A Fresh Start

rlawrence12788 — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 07:16:39 +0000

Last night was one of the hardest nights of my life. My mother had thyroid surgery last week, and after the first day post operation going great, it all went downhill thereafter. I had never seen her in so much pain before. I walked into the house Sunday night and I thought that something horrible had happened to my brother, that is how awful the cry was. I cried just listening to her cry. I watched as my dad rocked her and tried to comfort her, but nothing seemed to help the pain. After three days in bed, with barely any food, mostly liquids, and probably too much television, we made our way to our last resort before going to the emergency room. I have never driven in such a panic, I was making myself follow the breathing technique that I was trying to get my mom to follow. I had to bite my tongue in order to hold back the tears and be strong for my mom.

Thank you to the gentleman that graciously gave up his appointment for my mother, once we walked in and he saw how much agony she was in. Thank you to Rebecca and Robin who are two of the most comforting and informational ladies in the medical field. We went to a back room where they were going to help my mom and try to relieve some of the pain. At first I did not want to go back, I couldn’t stand seeing my mom like that. But she wanted me there. I sat in the corner at first, but something inside of me made me get up and hold her hand tight as she screamed and cried. I cried with her. Through the process the pain ceased, and then got even worse. It was a roller coaster. I cried asking the doctor what to do, begging her to help. At one point I even told my mom, through my tears, that she was seriously scaring me.

I even had to call my dad frantically and make him rush from his office, I told him that it wasn’t good and that we needed him.

Eventually, my mom got through it. We all got through it. The pain is not gone, but it has subsided and we have a plan for her to be back to normal in no time. It is funny how emergencies and health scares seem to make people closer. My mom and I have never been distant, but we have not been the closest mother and daughter pair either. We are a lot alike and both very strong-willed, which made us butt heads once in a while. Today, we are close. I know that because of this we will forever be close. It makes my eyes water just thinking about what we went through and how much I appreciate her. I would do anything for her.

To be honest, not only has the past week been incredibly difficult for me, but the last couple of months have been a little tough. Don’t get me wrong, there were some amazing parts and not all was bad. But there were definitely some situations that I did not, and still do not, understand. Relationships changed, and through that I was hurt by those people. More so than anyone else, ever. Hurtful things were said that should not have been said, and although I have forgiven it is not far from my mind. I am hoping that those relationships get somewhat back to normal, but it will take some time. I keep hearing that they will make a change, keep their mouths shut, or hopefully learn their lesson…but that is the problem, I keep hearing it.

I am ready for a fresh start, and a few hours ago I started to feel like it was happening.

R. Lawrence

A Fresh Start